Back in Genesis 2:7–25, we read that God created the first marriage with the purpose of the wife being the helper of the husband. Often today, these verses are misconstrued and abused by ungodly and abusive men to mean that the man “works his 40 hours at his job and (occasionally) mows the lawn” while the woman “takes care of the rest” (e.g., house, children, groceries, meals, etc.)…often in today’s world while also working 40 hours outside of the house.
I think what people miss in these verses is that Adam (the husband) was responsible for doing EVERYTHING before Eve (his wife) came along! Granted he didn’t have children before Eve, but God had charged him with tending the garden (Genesis 2:15) and naming ALL the kinds of animals (Genesis 2:19). Together, though, they could conquer the world (Genesis 1:27–28)!
So, in the end, spouses are supposed to serve God by serving each other, and they must figure out for themselves what that balance of duties looks like in their marriage. More so, if something needs to be done, don’t let it go undone because “it’s not your job,” because, most likely it IS either your responsibility as the leader or the helper. However, sometimes in the thick of it, it’s easy to get self-righteous about being the “serving one doing the work,” but we must remember WHY it is that we serve each other: to Glorify God by modeling Christ’s love. God has shown me a great way to keep the right mindset in this: while you are serving your spouse, pray for your spouse!
Husbands, pray that you would be a Spiritual covering for your wife, pray for their protection while you are away, pray that you can be understanding and loving toward her, and that you will be aware of her needs and have the strength and desire to meet them. Wives, pray that your husband would find his strength in God, pray that he will remain encouraged, that he will be faithful to God and to you amidst temptation, and that you will be aware of how you can be a help and honor to him and have the strength and desire to do so.
Also, whenever you have a disagreement, don’t clam up and give them the cold shoulder, instead use it as an opportunity to serve and pray for your spouse. This will not only calm you down, but it prepare your heart and mind by putting things into perspective and often God will reveal things to you that made it get to this point of tension.
Ephesians 5:22–33; 1 Peter 3:1–7; Colossians 3:17–19