Prayer: A Conversation with God – “Discipleship: The Simplicity and Purity of Devotion” – Chapter 3

Chapter three of “Discipleship: The Simplicity and Purity of Devotion”, on prayer as an honest, ongoing conversation with God — how to pray, how to listen for His voice, and what to do when He seems silent. Print edition coming soon.

Talking to God Privately

When you’re new to the faith, the concept of praying can seem odd. You may feel like you’re talking to the air, instead of … well … someone you may not have even believed in that long ago. Or, God can seem too big to care about anything you have to say. Perhaps you feel like He knows it all anyway, so why bother, right? Maybe you were part of a religion where the loudest and most repetitive one would get a god’s attention. Maybe you’ve seen someone make prayer out to be a show and that left a bad taste in your mouth … but … you aren’t sure what else to do either. Jesus, knowing that all of this would be a struggle, had this to say about prayer:

Matthew 6:5–8 ()

[5] “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. [6] But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. [7] “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. [8] Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!

Prayer isn’t some magic formula you have to “get just right.” It also isn’t an empty religious duty to check off a list. Remember, Christianity is about your relationship with God. So, think about your closest relationships for a moment. How did they become close? It wasn’t through formal speeches or carefully scripted interactions. No. It was through talking. Sometimes about big things, sometimes about nothing in particular. You shared your day. You asked questions. You listened. You laughed. You were honest when things hurt. In its simplest form, the same goes for prayer.

Psalm 62:5, 8 ()

[5] Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
… [8] O my people, trust in him at all times.
Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge.
Interlude

King David, known widely as “a man after God’s own heart” (), shows us what honest prayer really looks like throughout the book of Psalms. His prayers weren’t polished or sanitized. They were raw, vulnerable, and sometimes desperate. He repeatedly poured out everything: his fear, his anger, his confusion, his grief. We must do the same.

Psalm 6:2–7 ()

[2] Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak.
Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
[3] I am sick at heart.
How long, O Lord, until you restore me?
[4] Return, O Lord, and rescue me.
Save me because of your unfailing love.
[5] For the dead do not remember you.
Who can praise you from the grave?
§ [6] I am worn out from sobbing.
All night I flood my bed with weeping,
drenching it with my tears.
[7] My vision is blurred by grief;
my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.

Psalms 6:5 Hebrew from Sheol?

When things are tough, some people may say to you, “All you can do is pray.” But prayer is an opportunity to incline the ear of the Sovereign King and Creator of the Universe, and also your Daddy (). So, it’s not “all we can do,” but it’s the greatest privilege anyone could ask for! Whether you do it silently () or aloud (), He’s eager to listen.

Psalm 116:1–2 ()

[1] I love the Lord because he hears my voice
and my prayer for mercy.
[2] Because he bends down to listen,
I will pray as long as I have breath!

Praying Publicly

Matthew 6:9–13 ()

[9] “Pray, then, in this way:
‘Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
[10] Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
[11] Give us this day §our daily bread.
[12] And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
[13] And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from §the evil one. ‡[For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’]

Matthew 6:11 Or our bread for tomorrow
Matthew 6:13a Or evil
Matthew 6:13b Early mss omit bracketed portion

For many, the Lord’s Prayer is the first prayer they heard or learned. It’s beautiful and powerful, but it isn’t meant to be the one-and-only script we must recite forever. In Luke’s account of the Lord’s Prayer (), he shows that it’s Jesus’ response to the disciples’ question of how to pray, not what to pray. This is further demonstrated by the fact that Jesus and the disciples obviously prayed other words in other moments.

It’s a model prayer that gives you a healthy framework, not a restrictive cage, nor a magic incantation. It has the kinds of things that should belong in prayer: worship, surrender, dependence, honesty, pleas for God’s mercy, and praise.

So, you may be asking why I put this in a section called “Praying Publicly.” While it isn’t explicitly called out as being a public prayer, I believe it follows a public prayer pattern, more so than a personal one. First of all, it’s collective in nature, with plural phrases like “our Father,” “give us,”, “as we forgive”, etc. Also, it contains no personal confession, circumstances, grief, joy, fear, or thanksgiving. These elements dominate private prayers throughout Scripture, like Hezekiah in and even Jesus in Gethsemane in . Whether or not you believe that the Lord’s Prayer is intended for public prayer or not, praying publicly is different than personal prayer.

Acts 4:24, 29–30 ()

[24] When they heard the report, all the believers lifted their voices together in prayer to God: “O Sovereign Lord, Creator of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— … [29] And now, O Lord, hear their threats, and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your word. [30] Stretch out your hand with healing power; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of your holy servant Jesus.”

Whether you’re in a living room with a friend, in a small group, or you’re in front of a large church, the goal of public prayer isn’t eloquence, but agreement and alignment (). Avoid preaching at people under the cover of prayer, and don’t perform for the room.

Instead, you may need to couple internal prayer with public prayer. This private prayer can happen before the public prayer or even during it as well. As hard as it is, allow for spaces of silence in these moments, so that the Holy Spirit can guide you in what to say (). The most important thing you can do is simply share whatever God puts on your heart to pray aloud, so that the others there can join their hearts to it too ().

Types of Prayer

I realize that saying “just talk” isn’t helpful for some people. So, this section lists out various types of prayer, what they look like, and examples of when to include them. This list shouldn’t be considered an exhaustive list by any means, but hopefully it proves helpful in your journey.

  • Praise / Adoration / Worship: Rejoicing in who God is ().
  • Thanksgiving / Gratitude: Naming the good things God has done and letting that dethrone entitlement ().
  • Confession: Honest agreement with God about your sin, requesting His healing and victory ().
  • Surrender / Submission: Yielding to God’s will and wisdom ().
  • Petition / Supplication: Urgent plea arising from lack, need, or distress; such as help, wisdom, food ().
  • Intercession: Asking on behalf of others’ needs ().
  • Lament: Sharing your griefs with God ().
  • Listening / Contemplation: Quiet attentiveness, letting God set the agenda ().
  • Blessing: Asking for God’s good favor over people, especially ones starting a new era or journey ().
  • Spiritual Warfare: Resisting evil, standing in truth, praying protection ().

Your prayer time—publicly or privately—will likely cover more than one of these in a single prayer session. You may even find yourself in seasons where you’re centered around one or two of these types of prayer more than others.

For example, one time, God told me that “life is found in praise and thanksgiving.” So, I made sure to include more of those in my prayers for a while. There were other times when all I could do was lament and petition, because of dark situations in my life.

Many times, when I was stepping into a potentially confrontational situation, I’ve felt the need to pave the way with extended periods of prayer, submitting myself to His will, His words, His tone, and His timing … instead of my own. Occasionally, God puts someone random on my heart, leading to intercession. Even if I don’t know what their needs are, He does!

There have been plenty of times where He’s woken me up in the early morning. Instead of just assuming I needed to try falling back asleep, I realized that He was calling me to spend that time in prayer. This has even happened daily for a couple of weeks in a row. He was faithful to give me energy for the sleep I’d lost, and I gained much more than a nap … but an encounter.

Psalm 16:7–8 ()

[7] I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
[8] I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

Praying in Tongues

Up to this point, we’ve talked about prayer being the act of honestly sharing your heart with God. We’ve also talked about praying in step with what God desires, as He leads us. These are examples of “praying in the spirit,” as the ultimate goal is connecting our spirit with The Holy Spirit, not simply trying to persuade Him to do what we want. This kind of prayer “builds us up,” especially when faith feels thin. It’s about letting God fill what’s empty, steady what’s shaken, and form us as children who trust their Father, even when answers take time.

Jude 1:20–21 ()

[20] But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, [21] keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life.

But, there are times when words can’t express what needs to be said. The Holy Spirit can pray this way for us. We can find ourselves in a place where our only prayer is, “God, I don’t have words for this, but you do …”

Romans 8:26–27 ()

[26] And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. [27] And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers§ in harmony with God’s own will.

Romans 8:27 Greek for God’s holy people.

Not everyone agrees with this, but many Christians believe that The Holy Spirit can do this through us instead of just for us, because He is inside of us (). This isn’t a requirement for salvation, as some preach, but it’s an expression of unison.

1 Corinthians 14:2 ()

[2] For if you have the ability to speak in tongues,§ you will be talking only to God, since people won’t be able to understand you. You will be speaking by the power of the Spirit,§ but it will all be mysterious.

1 Corinthians 14:2a Or in unknown languages; also in 1 Corinthians 14:4, 5, 13, 14, 18, 22, 26, 27, 28, 39.
1 Corinthians 14:2b Or speaking in your spirit.

So, we must be careful not to conflate “praying in the spirit” with “praying in tongues.” They overlap, but they aren’t identical. Praying in the Spirit is the category and tongues can be one expression. Scripture never says only tongues are praying in the spirit, nor does it say praying in the spirit must always involve tongues.

1 Corinthians 14:14–19 ()

[14] For if I pray in tongues, my spirit is praying, but I don’t understand what I am saying. [15] Well then, what shall I do? I will pray in the spirit,§ and I will also pray in words I understand. I will sing in the spirit, and I will also sing in words I understand. [16] For if you praise God only in the spirit, how can those who don’t understand you praise God along with you? How can they join you in giving thanks when they don’t understand what you are saying? [17] You will be giving thanks very well, but it won’t strengthen the people who hear you. [18] I thank God that I speak in tongues more than any of you. [19] But in a church meeting I would rather speak five understandable words to help others than ten thousand words in an unknown language.

1 Corinthians 14:15 Or in the Spirit; also in 1 Corinthians 14:15, 16.

Because prayer is about spiritual connection, it’s why we’re instructed to pray in the spirit at all times (). But the spirit can be combined with the mind as well, through language you understand. The mind and spirit aren’t mutually exclusive, as this is what Jesus meant when He said we must worship Him in spirit and truth. It can be one or the other, but it also can be both.

John 4:23–24 ()

[23] But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. [24] For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.”

Fasting with Prayer

Biblical fasting is defined as abstaining from something—usually from food and sometimes also water—for a period of time and dedicating that time to prayer. Some people treat it like it’s an antiquated religious act, others view it like a toddler holding their breath until the Parent gives in to the child’s will (i.e., an immature attempt to force God’s hand), and others do it to appear more spiritual. If any of those are your perspective, don’t do it, as you’re just making yourself hungry for no reason. But, please reconsider it with a different viewpoint.

In , right after giving the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus talked about fasting. He rebuked those who were doing it just as a show. But twice, back-to-back, He said, “when you fast” (), not “if” or “why bother.” Instead, like for prayer, He encouraged people to keep fasting as a private matter between you and God.

Later, in , the Pharisees (religious leaders of that time) questioned why Jesus’ disciples didn’t fast. Jesus replied by stating that it didn’t make sense for them to fast as long as He was right there with Him, but once He returned to Heaven, “then” they will fast. These passages show that it’s still relevant today, and they also hint at it being about increasing our spiritual connection with God.

“Firsts” are often very important in the Bible. Looking back much further in history, the first mention of the act of fasting in the Bible is when God gave Moses the Ten Commandments, after Moses had spent significant time alone with God in the wilderness of the mountain. This fast wasn’t demanded by God, but an act of worship by Moses as a response to experiencing a sacred moment.

Exodus 34:28 ()

[28] Moses remained there on the mountain with the Lord forty days and forty nights. In all that time he ate no bread and drank no water. And the Lord§ wrote the terms of the covenant—the Ten Commandments§—on the stone tablets.

Exodus 34:28a Hebrew he.
Exodus 34:28b Hebrew the ten words.

In , a religious leader mentioned fasting twice a week, which was based on a tradition from Jewish Second Temple customs that called back to this event. Although not explicit in Scripture, some believe that Moses went up the mountain on a Monday (the first day they fast) and came back down on a Thursday (the second day they fast). By the time of Jesus’ earthly ministry, this practice of fasting twice a week had often been reduced to a self-righteous act for those seeking attention. This routine by the religious is also likely why the Pharisees questioned the disciples’ lack of fasting mentioned above. But, God’s never interested in self-exalting fasts.

Zechariah 7:3–6 ()

[3] They were to ask this question of the prophets and the priests at the Temple of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies: “Should we continue to mourn and fast each summer on the anniversary of the Temple’s destruction,§ as we have done for so many years?” [4] The Lord of Heaven’s Armies sent me this message in reply: [5] “Say to all your people and your priests, ‘During these seventy years of exile, when you fasted and mourned in the summer and in early autumn,§ was it really for me that you were fasting? [6] And even now in your holy festivals, aren’t you eating and drinking just to please yourselves?

Zechariah 7:3 Hebrew mourn and fast in the fifth month. The Temple had been destroyed in the fifth month of the ancient Hebrew lunar calendar (August 586 b.c.); see 2 Kings 25:8.
Zechariah 7:5 Hebrew fasted and mourned in the fifth and seventh months. The fifth month of the ancient Hebrew lunar calendar usually occurs within the months of July and August. The seventh month usually occurs within the months of September and October; both the Day of Atonement and the Festival of Shelters were celebrated in the seventh month.

Seventy years?!? That’s a lifetime of doing something you thought God would like, just to find out it’s a waste of time. No thanks! But, the problem wasn’t the fasting itself, it’s that they weren’t actually fasting for God, but for tradition. He goes on to accuse them of also eating and drinking for themselves too. In other words, whether you’re fasting or eating, everything you do should be for God, or it’s a waste of time ().

Another “first” is the first mention of the word “fasting” in the Bible, which still wasn’t a commandment. This time it came during a civil war between the Benjamites and the rest of Israel. Despite outnumbering them nearly eighteen-to-one, the Israelites were losing … badly. When the Israelites sought God with tears, He told them to keep fighting. After that, tens of thousands of Israel’s most experienced soldiers died each day and there was still no sign of victory in sight.

I’m sure the Israelites had to be questioning whether they’d heard God correctly, because you’re not supposed to be unsuccessful when you’re seeking and being obedient to God, right? I mean, that sounds good, but even for the apostles, with the indwelling of The Holy Spirit after Jesus’ resurrection, they were beaten and imprisoned for doing God’s will ().

Focusing back on Israel’s civil war, they continued to lose. So, they sought God yet again, but this time with prayer and fasting.

Judges 20:26–27a, 28b ()

[26] Then all the Israelites went up to Bethel and wept in the presence of the Lord and fasted until evening. They also brought burnt offerings and peace offerings to the Lord. [27] The Israelites went up seeking direction from the Lord. … [28] The Israelites asked the Lord, “Should we fight against our relatives from Benjamin again, or should we stop?” The Lord said, “Go! Tomorrow I will hand them over to you.”

After Israel’s fasting mentioned above, God guaranteed that they would be victorious against the Benjamites. But, it wasn’t because of their fasting. No. As stated earlier, fasting doesn’t force God’s hand. Rather, it positioned the people in humility and dependence while God carried out His own purposes in His own time.

This principle is clearly seen in the time that David fasted while pleading with God to rescue his child from a deadly illness. This seems like an honorable reason to fast, but the problem is that this was the illegitimate child from his adulterous relationship with a married woman named Bathsheba. Not only that, but God had already declared that the child would die.

2 Samuel 12:16–18, 20–23 ()

[16] David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. [17] The elders of his household pleaded with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused. [18] Then on the seventh day the child died. David’s advisers were afraid to tell him. “He wouldn’t listen to reason while the child was ill,” they said. “What drastic thing will he do when we tell him the child is dead?” … [20] Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions,§ and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate. [21] His advisers were amazed. “We don’t understand you,” they told him. “While the child was still living, you wept and refused to eat. But now that the child is dead, you have stopped your mourning and are eating again.” [22] David replied, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ [23] But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.”

2 Samuel 12:20 Hebrew anointed himself.

This is a difficult passage, but what can we learn from this? First of all, prayer and fasting isn’t a guarantee of results, because God is sovereign (i.e., He has supreme authority and power to always do as He wants). Second, a changed heart doesn’t reverse the consequences of sin, but it does lead to forgiveness from them (). Third, fasting usually ends when the answer comes from God, even if it isn’t the answer you believed for and asked for. The point of fasting is to humble ourselves and seek what we truly need from God, instead of trying to do things by our own power.

Ezra 8:21, 23 ()

[21] Then I called for a fast there at the river of Ahava, that we might humble ourselves before our God to seek from Him a §direct journey for us, our little ones, and all our possessions. … [23] So we fasted and sought our God concerning this matter, and He §was moved by our entreaty.

Ezra 8:21 Lit straight way
Ezra 8:23 Lit was entreated by us

So, whenever you fast, do it for the right motives (e.g., connection, clarity, dependence, etc.), but keep it private. Here are a few fasting tips you may find helpful. First of all, fast because God is leading you to do so. Abstain from whatever He asks, and for however long He asks. Depending on your health condition, this may require consulting your doctor or choosing a non-food or specific food fasting option (e.g., social media, TV, sugar, caffeine, etc.). Whenever you would normally do whatever you’re abstaining from, pray. Whenever you’re craving whatever you’re abstaining from, pray. If you accidentally break your fast, check in with God to see if He’s wanting you to continue with it or not.

Being with God

The point of prayer isn’t to “prove that you’re spiritual.” No. Like reading the Bible or praising God through song, prayer is an invitation to encounter Him. And yet, many times when talking with people about prayer, they’re bewildered to hear about someone spending more than five minutes in prayer, often stating they’re not even sure what to do after that long. I think it’s largely due to that “tug” to be doing something, instead of just being with God.

Luke 10:38–42 ()

[38] As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. [39] Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. [40] But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” [41] But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! [42] There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Martha wasn’t doing something evil. In fact, Luke even points out that she was welcoming Jesus and His disciples, hosting, and making sure they had food. And yet, Luke said she was “distracted.” Ouch! Imagine having someone come visit your house and people just describe you as being busy and distracted the whole time.

Meanwhile, Mary’s posture was offensively simple. She just sat at Jesus’ feet … listening to Him. No performance. No frantic scanning of what could make the experience better. Just … being. Enamored by the presence of the Savior. Jesus didn’t praise Mary for accomplishments, but for her choosing to be present with Him. Jesus said that this is the only thing we need to be concerned about. Jesus’ reply showed just how sacred it was for Mary to give her undivided attention to Him by essentially scolding Martha, saying that this precious moment will NOT be taken from her.

While He may not be physically sitting in the room with you right now, we have the same opportunity with prayer to share in a precious and sacred encounter with Him. If we’re mentally stuck in a “doing” mode, we must slow down, and quiet that inner Martha, but without shaming her. We must not forget that “Jesus loved Martha” as well (). So, tell God that you need His help to get past the discomfort of being “unproductive” for a while in order to meet with Him. Then, sit there quietly welcoming Him. This may feel awkward at first, but it’s often where the real encounter begins.

Ironically, stepping away from the busyness of serving to spend time with God prepares you to serve Him better. You become less resentful, less busy, and less distracted by the unfairness of “being the only one serving Him.” It refocuses you on Him, refreshes your spirit, and reinvigorates you.

Hearing from God

You may have noticed that I’ve assumed the position of being able to hear from God. But, not everyone agrees that God still speaks to us, holding the perspective that those who think they heard from God are deceived or even crazy. They say that we have the Bible, and therefore nothing else needs to be said. They also say that we have the Holy Spirit, but He only guides with inklings and reminders of the words we’ve read in the Bible.

While it is true that He can work in those ways, my problem with that viewpoint is that the entire Bible, front to back, constantly talks about hearing and obeying God’s voice. So, while God has spoken in the past and made sure that we collected enough in writing in order to be able to recognize His heart behind it all, we must remember that He never changes ().

Psalm 95:6–7 ()

[6] Come, let us worship and bow down.
Let us kneel before the Lord our maker,
[7] for he is our God.
We are the people he watches over,
the flock under his care.
If only you would listen to his voice today!

In fact, Jesus even said that hearing and recognizing His voice is a sign that you belong to Him:

John 10:26–27 ()

[26] But you don’t believe me because you are not my sheep. [27] My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

There’s a simple, but beautiful pattern in Scripture, where God speaks (sometimes through an angel), and the first thing people say back is, “Here I am.” This happened with Abraham (), Jacob (; ), Moses (), and even in the New Testament with Ananias (). My favorite though, is when Samuel did this as a young boy.

This happened during one of those extended periods of time when God wasn’t speaking to Israel, because they were rebelliously refusing to listen (). But, Samuel only cared about being close to God.

1 Samuel 3:3–5, 8–10 ()

[3] The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was sleeping in the Tabernacle§ near the Ark of God. [4] Suddenly the Lord called out, “Samuel!”“Yes?” Samuel replied. “What is it?” [5] He got up and ran to Eli. “Here I am. Did you call me?”“I didn’t call you,” Eli replied. “Go back to bed.” So he did. … [8] So the Lord called a third time, and once more Samuel got up and went to Eli. “Here I am. Did you call me?”Then Eli realized it was the Lord who was calling the boy. [9] So he said to Samuel, “Go and lie down again, and if someone calls again, say, ‘Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went back to bed. [10] And the Lord came and called as before, “Samuel! Samuel!”And Samuel replied, “Speak, your servant is listening.”

1 Samuel 3:3 Hebrew the Temple of the Lord.

Samuel wasn’t seeking an experience, he was seeking more of God Himself. This passage models child-like faith, which Scripture explicitly says God honors (). Samuel’s response is simple, humble, expectant, and demonstrates his readiness to listen. God still honors this posture today, although often speaking inwardly to your spirit rather than audibly to your physical ears.

However, hearing God in your spirit can be difficult, because both the spirit and the mind communicate internally, unlike physical hearing which is external and distinct. Thoughts, impressions, convictions, and promptings share similar “channels.” Not to mention demonic forces, which are spirit beings that communicate in the spirit. All of this makes discernment necessary.

1 John 4:1–3 ()

[1] Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. [2] By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, [3] and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world.

Hearing God isn’t just about desire for an answer, or even craving His voice. It’s more about aligning your heart with His, so that you can get in unison with Him. The answers you need will come in His timing, often in the very moment they are needed. In the meantime, be faithful in the small steps, and you will be entrusted with more ().

Logos vs Rhema

An essential part of prayer is understanding the direction of flow and authority. Some people take God’s word as if it’s some sort of “law” that God must adhere Himself to, thinking that you must “remind Him of what He said His Kingdom rules are” so that He will live by them. When in reality, it’s the other way around. He establishes Kingdom laws based on who He is, not who He should be.

2 Timothy 2:13 ()

[13] If we are unfaithful,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny who he is.

In the New Testament, there are two Greek terms translated as “word” in English. “Logos” (LAW-goss) refers to words in general, but also a broader message for a wider audience. It’s used for God’s revealed message, His written truth, and even as a title for Jesus Himself. Whereas, “rhema” (RAY-mah) points to a spoken word—something said into a specific moment—at times even describing God speaking directly and personally into someone’s life, usually during personal prayer time.

Think of it this way: one is like a public announcement everyone can hear (logos), while the other is a personal word spoken directly to you (rhema). This matters because some believers treat Scripture like a magical mantra, reciting verses as if believing them hard enough and speaking them aloud will automatically make them come true. But, trying to “manifest” outcomes by declaring words into the universe borrows more from secular spirituality than Christian faith.

Instead, God breathes life into His word as He speaks them over you personally. Scripture is His revealed truth, but it must be applied by Him to our lives. This is why faith is called “the gift of God” (). It’s not something we muster up, but it is spoken to us and over us.

Romans 10:17 ()

[17] So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word [rhema] of Christ.

You’ve probably heard the phrase that “with God, all things are possible.” This is a reference to the conversation between Jesus’ mother, Mary, and the angel Gabriel, when he told her she would birth the Messiah, despite being a virgin.

Luke 1:37–38b ()

[37] [Gabriel:] “For nothing will be impossible with God.” [38] And Mary said, “Behold, the slave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.” …

When this says “nothing,” it’s literally “no rhema.” Or, as the WEB translation puts it, “nothing spoken by God is impossible.” Does this mean that every Christian can claim a virgin birth? Of course not. God spoke it over her through His angel.

When Jesus told Simon Peter to let down his nets to catch some fish, he wearily replied, “by your word [rhema], I’ll let down the nets again” (). Peter brought in such a haul, that it broke his nets and almost sank the boat. It’d be nice to be able to catch a bunch of fish that easily whenever you want, but again, God must speak it over you. And if He does, be prepared to buy new fishing gear afterwards!

This “rhema” usually happens when you’re praying or reading your Bible. God either says something specific to you or breathes new and personalized life into His written words. It won’t ever contradict Scripture, but sometimes it may not be the main point of the passage that backs them. As stated in a previous section, this is why we must “test” the message to see if it’s from God ().

Hebrews 4:12 ()

[12] For the word [logos] of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

Alive! Not only does this mean that His words bring life to those who hear it, but, like any living thing, it also means that they adapt in response to their environment. God’s words have many layers of truth, so He can use the same words in multiple ways to reveal different layers of His glory in various situations. He can speak a passage over individuals in seemingly unrelated situations for different purposes now, and yet this same passage can be ultimately fulfilled in eternity for all believers.

Powerful. The Greek word for “powerful” means “energetic, active, working.” This doesn’t give us artistic license to manipulate His words to suit our desires. That’s what Satan does! God interprets His word, not us (). In fact, the Bible outright condemns a self-driven interpretation (). It must come from Him, because He is the source of that power, through the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13 ()

[13] I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Creating an Ishmael

If God has spoken something over you, one of the greatest dangers can be to “force fulfillment” of it in your own timing. This is most clearly seen when Abram (later known as Abraham) took matters into his own hand to “fulfill God’s promise for Him” to have a son.

Instead of continuing to wait for God to fulfill the promise, he slept with his wife’s handmaid. In Abraham’s defense, it’d been 10 years since God gave Him the promise and it hadn’t worked out yet with his wife. And technically God gave him the promise, not his wife Sarai (later known as Sarah), plus this was her idea. So, it makes sense, right? I mean, he wasn’t getting any younger (though he ended up having to wait a total of 25 years for the promised son to be born). But, you see, that’s where things go wrong, by choosing something that seems right ().

Genesis 16:1–2, 11–12 ()

[1] Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. [2] So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. … [11] And the angel also said, “You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means ‘God hears’), for the Lord has heard your cry of distress. [12] This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.”

We can’t mess up God’s plans, but there are repercussions for operating outside of His perfect will. This pattern of “creating an Ishmael” reveals a recurring human tendency to grasp at God’s promise through human means, producing something God may permit and even bless in limited ways, but which ultimately brings conflict and sorrow. This is because it’s born of impatience, rather than trust.

Psalm 27:13–14 ()

[13] Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
[14] Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

When God entrusts us with a future promise during prayer, we often still settle for the free, convenient, and/or now, instead of waiting for God’s best. We fill ourselves up on lesser things and then don’t even have room when the greater things come. This is operating out of a spirit of fear instead of power (). It’s a slave or survivor mindset and not that of a child ().

We try to fill ourselves with things that bring some level of joy, or even just stave off some of the pain. But we are like sieves, so the satisfaction of momentary pleasure always leaks out, leaving us empty, sometimes even emptier than before. Nothing will ever be enough (). Not only is it a waste of time, but it short circuits our experience and we can miss out on a greater manifestation of His glory in our lives.

Psalm 127:1 ()

[1] Unless the Lord builds a house,
the work of the builders is wasted.
Unless the Lord protects a city,
guarding it with sentries will do no good.

When God Seems Silent

Since it’s all about relationship and connection, then why does it feel like He doesn’t speak to us sometimes?

This may seem obvious, but it can be because we simply aren’t talking with Him. Sure, we may be throwing an empty or rote prayer His way, but are we seeking actual connection? Are we sticking around for an encounter? I mentioned this in the previous sections, but it’s worth restating. We must dedicate time and attention to pursuing Him, getting away from all the distractions and noise of daily life. Even Jesus had to routinely do this!

Luke 5:15–16 ()

[15] But despite Jesus’ instructions, the report of his power spread even faster, and vast crowds came to hear him preach and to be healed of their diseases. [16] But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

Sometimes we’ll carve out the time to get away and pray, but He can still seem distant. Let me be clear on this, God doesn’t ever “give us the cold shoulder,” as He isn’t petty like that. So, if we don’t hear Him, it’s not because He’s not talking. Often, He’s already spoken and we’ve refused to obey Him in that specific area. Or, it’s hard to hear him because we’ve chosen to shut Him out through some other sinful rebellion, instead of choosing intimacy with Him.

In other words, the seeming silence is because our heart isn’t in the right place to hear, due to our refusal to listen to what He wants to say and are instead looking for what we want to hear. Ask God to give you ears to hear Him, ask Him to reveal any areas of rebellion in your heart, and then actively submit everything to Him.

Isaiah 50:4b–5 ()

[4] Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will. [5] The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me, and I have listened. I have not rebelled or turned away.

Psalm 42 words this beautifully through several water-based metaphors. Ultimately, it’s about aligning the depths of our unsettled souls with Him, instead of settling on shallow faith. The crescendo of this song is in verse seven, when the author compares God’s voice to waterfalls.

Psalm 42:7–8 ()

[7] Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
[8] By day, Yahweh will command His lovingkindness;
And by night, His song will be with me,
A prayer to the God of my life.

Why waterfalls? Because, like a waterfall pouring into a pool below, the infinite God’s unending waterfall of grace and love () speaking over our hearts is the only thing that can traverse our soul’s deepest depths, even if it must smack us sometimes to get our attention.

Also, hearing God’s voice is like the sound of a waterfall. He never gives up on talking to us, but His voice can seem like the low rumbling of a waterfall in the distance, barely distinguishable from a light breeze blowing through leaves. As you get closer and closer to Him, though, His voice can become loud enough to drown out the sounds of the rest of the world. Without this extra pursuit of closeness, we can miss out on the deeper conversations we could’ve had with Him. Conversations that may have saved time and shielded us from unnecessary pain along the way.

Sometimes we interpret “not getting what we want” as being silence. However, this is yet another heart issue. We must ask according to His will (), not our own.

James 4:2c–3 ()

[2] … Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. [3] And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

God doesn’t want us to be dissatisfied. John Piper famously says, “God is most glorified in you, when you are most satisfied in Him.” But, that’s the key: in Him. Delighting in God Himself is the key to getting the desires of your heart (). This doesn’t mean stuff, it means more of Him! Sure, He gives us stuff too, but that’s a byproduct of a Lover doting upon the one He loves.

Ecclesiastes, which was written by King Solomon (King David’s son), is usually considered a bleak perspective. And yet even he had to say this about those that find their satisfaction in God:

Ecclesiastes 5:18, 20 ()

[18] Here is what I have seen to be good, which is §beautiful: to eat, to drink, and to see good in all one’s labor in which he labors under the sun during the few days of his life which God has given him; for this is his portion. … [20] For he will not remember much the days of his life because God allows ‡him to occupy himself with the gladness of his heart.

Ecclesiastes 5:18 Or appropriate
Ecclesiastes 5:20 As in Gr

So, truly seek God. Expect that He wants to talk to you. Never give up on praying, regardless of your circumstances.

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 ()

[16] Always be joyful. [17] Never stop praying. [18] Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Chapter Resources

I’ve learned the most about prayer by reading the book of Psalms from the Bible. The Psalms teach us how to pray by showing us what it looks like to speak to God with both reverence and raw honesty. They model prayers that wrestle, wait, confess, and praise … often all within the same breath. Rather than hiding weakness, the psalmists bring everything directly before God, trusting His character even when His plan is unclear. Sometimes even allowing prayers to abruptly end, leaving things painfully unresolved in the darkest of moments. By praying the Psalms, we learn to align our emotions, desires, and hopes with who God is, even when circumstances haven’t changed yet.

Psalm 27:7–8 ()

[7] Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
[8] My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”

A prayer:

Dear Father,

I’m here in this very moment solely to meet with You. Help me to stop performing. I’m waiting for You. Right here. Right now. I want nothing more than to sit at your feet and listen. So, I pause right now. You are welcome here in this place.

…

Help me to continue to hear Your voice throughout the day, above the noise and in the quiet. Give me the courage and desire to obey it. Not because it’s the “right thing to do” and not so that I can somehow “earn Your love,” but because I want to live in a way that’s pleasing to You.

Amen